Titanium chemistry jokes – you need some basic knowledge in order to get them

The chemistry jokes about titanium usually revolve around the metal special properties, or the specifics of its subatomic components.

During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. “Now I’m going to drop this titanium rod into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?”

“No sir,” one student called out.

“No?” queried the professor. “Perhaps you can explain why the titanium metal won’t dissolve in this particular acid.”

“Because if it would, you wouldn’t have dropped it in!”

Personal note: There aren’t many acids that would actually dissolve titanium, but chemistry jokes have to be based on something.

Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

Personal note: This one liner is based on titanium great reactivity with all other elements, especially at high temperatures, which for instance, requires special environmental conditions for laser welding titanium.

Two titanium atoms were walking down the street. One turns to the other and says, "Oh, no! I think I'm an ion!"

The other responds, "Are you sure?!?"

"Yes, I'm positive!"

A titanium neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"

Personal note: These would be two of the chemistry jokes that would fit with any element, as the atoms and subatomic particles are all the same, but they’re too good not to be included.

Why did Titanium marry Oxygen? They bonded well from the minute they met.

Personal note: It would also be liable for bigamy charges(TiO2), but nevertheless…

Zinc, titanium dioxide, copper, gluconate, beta-carotene, chromium, etc., n. 1) benevolent ingredients of natural foodstuffs and diet supplements, conductive to healing. 2) Poisonous synthetic chemicals.

Personal note: Actually titanium dioxide is not poisonous.

The teacher asked a question to his student. How is titanium tetrachloride formed?

The guy starts answering.

First titanium is chloridized to titanium chloride.

Then titanium chloride gets further chloridized to titanium dichloride.

…then gets confused, what next?

After a gap of a few minutes he replies.

Why to tell more and waste everybody’s time….. Finally titanium tetrachloride gets formed…

Personal note: A far cry from the real chemical reaction needed to form titanium tetrachloride.

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